The other day I went to the gym and saw a friend who had given birth to a beautiful little girl three weeks prior. She was just getting back into exercise, and maybe even taking a little time for herself. On those days when I feel "too tired" to go to the gym, I think of her and it inspires me.
I sometimes read the Mama, PhD blog and while sometimes I think they can sound a little complain-y, it does make real the challenges of combining family life with an academic career. The blog led me to this book, and a great essay by Barbara Jacobowitz which says, "My love for my work enhances what I bring to my children as a parent, and.. the love that I bear for my children brings something extra to my work." She never says it is easy, but is anything worth living for easy?
And no, I am not pregnant. What is it with people? I had a glass of seltzer at the party and everybody freaked out and said I must be. I sure hope not, because I also had a glass of wine. Something about turning 30 and people suddenly think you've turned into mom.
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Arg.
I hate cars. Especially when THEY WON'T FREAKING START!
Just thought I'd share. Now back to waiting for the tow truck.
Just thought I'd share. Now back to waiting for the tow truck.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Exciting News!
OK everyone - I have exciting news.
I just purchased the domain name symbolandsubstance.com!
So maybe this blog will become part of my larger web efforts. I'm so excited! Now when I'm wasting time at work, I can work on that instead of facebook.
Yesss! Symbol and Substance 2.0, here I come!
I just purchased the domain name symbolandsubstance.com!
So maybe this blog will become part of my larger web efforts. I'm so excited! Now when I'm wasting time at work, I can work on that instead of facebook.
Yesss! Symbol and Substance 2.0, here I come!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Oh, Atlanta....
...I hear you calling, I'm coming back to you, one fine day...
Just got back from Atlanta, from YAW (yet another wedding). I was there for 24 hours, mostly due to the machinations (or lack thereof) of American Airlines. Thanks, FAA! I loved being at Chicago O'Hare for 6 hours. Mostly in planes that I then had to get off.
Lots of Atlanta ruminations. I forgot how much time I spent there in college. It all came back as I got lost on the winding roads lined with leafy green trees, just like I did almost ten summers ago.
I'd love to go back to Atlanta and spend some real time - it's surprisingly beautiful, I didn't remember that. Plus there are a lot of people I love there, and I got to see a couple of them. Hopefully B and I can go back and see more wonderful Southern friends. Although now we're talking about doing a bourbon-tasting trip through Tennessee and Kentucky. That, of course, means a requisite trip to Sewanee, possibly my favorite place on Earth besides the street I lived on in Paris in 2002.
Back to life. I think I may have to spend my day doing schoolwork at the office. I hate doing that, but at this point there's just no way around it.
Just got back from Atlanta, from YAW (yet another wedding). I was there for 24 hours, mostly due to the machinations (or lack thereof) of American Airlines. Thanks, FAA! I loved being at Chicago O'Hare for 6 hours. Mostly in planes that I then had to get off.
Lots of Atlanta ruminations. I forgot how much time I spent there in college. It all came back as I got lost on the winding roads lined with leafy green trees, just like I did almost ten summers ago.
I'd love to go back to Atlanta and spend some real time - it's surprisingly beautiful, I didn't remember that. Plus there are a lot of people I love there, and I got to see a couple of them. Hopefully B and I can go back and see more wonderful Southern friends. Although now we're talking about doing a bourbon-tasting trip through Tennessee and Kentucky. That, of course, means a requisite trip to Sewanee, possibly my favorite place on Earth besides the street I lived on in Paris in 2002.
Back to life. I think I may have to spend my day doing schoolwork at the office. I hate doing that, but at this point there's just no way around it.
Monday, February 11, 2008
goals. i haz dem.
So the other day in my class our professor asked us to delineate a 10-year plan. At first I was sort of annoyed. I've read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and similar books. They all say the same thing - make your goals explicit, share them with others, etc. And I believe those authors are right about what they say.
But when asked to do it on the spot, in front of other people - I'm a little reluctant. I have a lot that goes on in my head, plans, thoughts, ideas, dreams, outline of the perfect living room... ha, no seriously, came up with that yesterday. But share them? So I decided I would say I wanted to be dean. Dean of what, dunno. But dean of a college, education, business, something along those lines. And then once I jokingly proposed it, I realized that it actually was something that would be a good fit. I like working both inside/outside a college. I can be political. I have vision (I think) although sometimes when I express it I feel like people don't like it. The great thing about being dean is that it's a good stretch - I need to learn some skills along the way to attain that kind of position, but they're all skills that would improve my professional career anyway and skills I'm already developing.
The problem is that right now, my life is in flux, both personally and professionally. When I mapped out a year ago where I would be, this isn't quite what I planned - not that I had a definite map, but this particular situation wasn't on the radar. It seems as if goals, roles, duties, my life, is being dictated by those around me and not by me, and I suddenly feel out of control.
Which is why I'm writing. A while back when I was going strong with the "7 habits" I wrote out my all the things I wanted to be, do, have, etc. Looking back was interesting, because although I know a lot of the things by heart, I don't act on them on a day to day basis. And when I answered the question, "What is the one thing you could do in your professional life that would have the most positive impact?" the answer was, writing. The personal life one was exercise. I've been better about that recently.
So I'm writing my way out of this hole of "why am I not defining my own life right now?" Maybe I'll get out of it, or maybe this is just useless navel gazing. Either way - I'm trying.
But when asked to do it on the spot, in front of other people - I'm a little reluctant. I have a lot that goes on in my head, plans, thoughts, ideas, dreams, outline of the perfect living room... ha, no seriously, came up with that yesterday. But share them? So I decided I would say I wanted to be dean. Dean of what, dunno. But dean of a college, education, business, something along those lines. And then once I jokingly proposed it, I realized that it actually was something that would be a good fit. I like working both inside/outside a college. I can be political. I have vision (I think) although sometimes when I express it I feel like people don't like it. The great thing about being dean is that it's a good stretch - I need to learn some skills along the way to attain that kind of position, but they're all skills that would improve my professional career anyway and skills I'm already developing.
The problem is that right now, my life is in flux, both personally and professionally. When I mapped out a year ago where I would be, this isn't quite what I planned - not that I had a definite map, but this particular situation wasn't on the radar. It seems as if goals, roles, duties, my life, is being dictated by those around me and not by me, and I suddenly feel out of control.
Which is why I'm writing. A while back when I was going strong with the "7 habits" I wrote out my all the things I wanted to be, do, have, etc. Looking back was interesting, because although I know a lot of the things by heart, I don't act on them on a day to day basis. And when I answered the question, "What is the one thing you could do in your professional life that would have the most positive impact?" the answer was, writing. The personal life one was exercise. I've been better about that recently.
So I'm writing my way out of this hole of "why am I not defining my own life right now?" Maybe I'll get out of it, or maybe this is just useless navel gazing. Either way - I'm trying.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
A Really Big Idea
If you know me, you know that if I'm up at 11:50pm on a Thursday night (and I have to work tomorrow), something is up.
And something is up. I'm working on a really big idea, a huge idea. The problem is that I need a good wiki to do it, and word on the blogs is that Google is about to launch a wiki. I had been using PB Wiki, but the capacity is low (i.e. you can't load that many files). If I can get my idea to really take off, I will need more space than they can provide. I don't know that Google will have a more robust wiki, but it's worth waiting... although I'm hoping it doesn't take a month, by which time someone else could come up with the same really big idea and... well, there you go.
I'd love to share it, but I want to do it right. So please stay tuned. And remind me if I somehow get caught up in the day-to-day details of say, getting my car's emissions tested.
And something is up. I'm working on a really big idea, a huge idea. The problem is that I need a good wiki to do it, and word on the blogs is that Google is about to launch a wiki. I had been using PB Wiki, but the capacity is low (i.e. you can't load that many files). If I can get my idea to really take off, I will need more space than they can provide. I don't know that Google will have a more robust wiki, but it's worth waiting... although I'm hoping it doesn't take a month, by which time someone else could come up with the same really big idea and... well, there you go.
I'd love to share it, but I want to do it right. So please stay tuned. And remind me if I somehow get caught up in the day-to-day details of say, getting my car's emissions tested.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Contents of My Brain
I would love to sit here and spill the contents of my brain to you. At the moment, my brain is off scheming about ways I can take a nap. I could lay down on the floor of my office and close the door with a "Please Knock" sign. Or discover a way to be sitting up and....
I just did it, and for a moment was in far away deliciousness. But back to here and now.
I have discovered that I often present people with the outcome of a carefully considered chain of thought, without letting them know many (or any) of the steps in-between genesis and completion. It's a problem, and it gets worse when I'm tired. Sometimes, though, explaining myself to other people makes me feel exhausted. It also makes me feel as if others don't trust me. I know that it's probably a combination of my communication difficulties and a lack of trust on the part of others. It's me, and it's them.
Just zoned out again, this time with my eyes open. I can't wait for an uninterrupted nap. Or uninterrupted time, where I can just think.
I just did it, and for a moment was in far away deliciousness. But back to here and now.
I have discovered that I often present people with the outcome of a carefully considered chain of thought, without letting them know many (or any) of the steps in-between genesis and completion. It's a problem, and it gets worse when I'm tired. Sometimes, though, explaining myself to other people makes me feel exhausted. It also makes me feel as if others don't trust me. I know that it's probably a combination of my communication difficulties and a lack of trust on the part of others. It's me, and it's them.
Just zoned out again, this time with my eyes open. I can't wait for an uninterrupted nap. Or uninterrupted time, where I can just think.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Love is in the air
Students are trickling back onto college campuses this week. I noticed a definite increase in people walking around, arguing on cell phones, looking lost, looking angry, not looking as they walk into the street. Typical undergrad behavior! (Or adults in DC. But that's a different entry.)
Many are also coming back to romance, either with a fellow student, a staff member, or a teaching assistant/professor. Although many colleges have made rules against student/teacher relationships, it happens anyway. Especially when grad students who might be 24 or 25 teach a class with 300 undergrads, some of whom are also 24 or 25. At my undergrad, we had more of the actual "professor-dates-student" scandals. One English professor married not one but two of his (pretty and blonde) students. Not at the same time, of course. This isn't "Big Love." The word of warning for his advisees was, "That's not his daughter in the photo. Don't ask." I can't imagine asking about anyone's photos in their office, but maybe some people are nosy. A Geology professor married a student. Both of these men had wives and left them for students. Ouch!
My boyfriend thinks I must have gone to school in a terrible and sick place. It's difficult to explain that my undergrad was on 10,000 acres of nothing except for 1,300 students, a few professors, and a handful of administrative staff. A single professor didn't have many options (and I know a few who surreptitiously dated students). As for the professors who left their wives, well, I don't know. Boys will be boys?
I think universities should manage the situation rather than prevent it. Anyone see that episode of "The Office" where Jan had Michael sign a romance release form? "That's what she said." Ok, so maybe you're not a fan of the show. I think this type of legitimization would a) make professor/student relationships more boring, since they're sanctioned and you have to sign a form. Anything forbidden is much more exciting, and b) legally protect the university for the most part, rather than create a "rule made to be broken."
On another note, if you watch the HBO show "Flight of the Conchords," the band's rabid fan has a picture of herself with her husband in the dining room in last night's episode. When asked about it, she says, "Oh,that's my husband. He's quite a bit older than me. He was a professor, at my college, and there were all sorts of legal barriers keeping me away from him, from his family. But in the end love won out!" Ok, so maybe it's funnier in the show. But the fact that these sorts of relationships come up so much in popular culture means that they are real.
"A Right to Romance." (Wilson, R. The Chronicle of Higher Education. 8/17/07)
Many are also coming back to romance, either with a fellow student, a staff member, or a teaching assistant/professor. Although many colleges have made rules against student/teacher relationships, it happens anyway. Especially when grad students who might be 24 or 25 teach a class with 300 undergrads, some of whom are also 24 or 25. At my undergrad, we had more of the actual "professor-dates-student" scandals. One English professor married not one but two of his (pretty and blonde) students. Not at the same time, of course. This isn't "Big Love." The word of warning for his advisees was, "That's not his daughter in the photo. Don't ask." I can't imagine asking about anyone's photos in their office, but maybe some people are nosy. A Geology professor married a student. Both of these men had wives and left them for students. Ouch!
My boyfriend thinks I must have gone to school in a terrible and sick place. It's difficult to explain that my undergrad was on 10,000 acres of nothing except for 1,300 students, a few professors, and a handful of administrative staff. A single professor didn't have many options (and I know a few who surreptitiously dated students). As for the professors who left their wives, well, I don't know. Boys will be boys?
I think universities should manage the situation rather than prevent it. Anyone see that episode of "The Office" where Jan had Michael sign a romance release form? "That's what she said." Ok, so maybe you're not a fan of the show. I think this type of legitimization would a) make professor/student relationships more boring, since they're sanctioned and you have to sign a form. Anything forbidden is much more exciting, and b) legally protect the university for the most part, rather than create a "rule made to be broken."
On another note, if you watch the HBO show "Flight of the Conchords," the band's rabid fan has a picture of herself with her husband in the dining room in last night's episode. When asked about it, she says, "Oh,that's my husband. He's quite a bit older than me. He was a professor, at my college, and there were all sorts of legal barriers keeping me away from him, from his family. But in the end love won out!" Ok, so maybe it's funnier in the show. But the fact that these sorts of relationships come up so much in popular culture means that they are real.
"A Right to Romance." (Wilson, R. The Chronicle of Higher Education. 8/17/07)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Family
I wonder if blogs will become the new letters/journal. So many people a) complain about blogs; and/or b) lament the loss of letter and diary writing in our culture. I think they should take a look online. An old friend of mine responded to an old blog entry I wrote, and it occurred to me that we often treat these online forums as private places, when they are indeed public. I know, I'm a genius, it's only been in the news media for the past three years. So I'm slow.
I went to my cousin J's wedding this weekend - it was a wonderful ceremony in Estes Park, Colorado. The amazing thing about the wedding was that it was more like a family reunion. My dad and his two siblings (well, he has three, but that's a story for another day) and their children/significant others were all gathered in one place for a brief but happy moment. The joy of my Aunt J, the oldest sister, was palpable!
Everyone has difficulties with their families, but for many reasons I think my mother and father had it just about as bad as it gets. The forgiveness and love that I experienced this weekend, however, between siblings who all grew up in the same difficult household and by varied and circuitous paths made it out not only alive but well, will not long be forgotten.
I went to my cousin J's wedding this weekend - it was a wonderful ceremony in Estes Park, Colorado. The amazing thing about the wedding was that it was more like a family reunion. My dad and his two siblings (well, he has three, but that's a story for another day) and their children/significant others were all gathered in one place for a brief but happy moment. The joy of my Aunt J, the oldest sister, was palpable!
Everyone has difficulties with their families, but for many reasons I think my mother and father had it just about as bad as it gets. The forgiveness and love that I experienced this weekend, however, between siblings who all grew up in the same difficult household and by varied and circuitous paths made it out not only alive but well, will not long be forgotten.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
The Exhaustion of Team Building
Today and yesterday were team-building retreats for my team here at work, and I am EXHAUSTED. Just FYI. Not even capable of writing. However, I will say that it's an enormously useful activity, and part of the reason I'm exhausted is that I'm excited about what we might be able to accomplish. But I think I'm going to go home now. I'm sitting here waiting for my phone to ring with what might be another project for my students - I've been playing phone tag with this one client for over a week now.
Once I get back on track, I'm hoping to bring more about education and how it relates to my new job into the blog. But baby steps right now. I need to go home and put away my laundry. I'm only one person.
Once I get back on track, I'm hoping to bring more about education and how it relates to my new job into the blog. But baby steps right now. I need to go home and put away my laundry. I'm only one person.
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Dodge Neon
In 2002, when I got back from Paris, my mom made me get rid of my 1995 Dodge Neon and gave me her 2000 Jeep. (I think it's funny that I've only owned Chrysler vehicles.) Lately I have been reminiscing about my little, black, two-door Neon, so sporty and yet so dorky. My best friend and I had fun times in Orlando cruising downtown listening to Montell Jordan's "This is How We Do It," over and over. (I could totally go for listening to that song right now...)
Anyway, I'd really love to find the original magazine ad for the car that I cut out and taped all over my bedroom. You know, the one with the front view of the car and it said, "Hi." Never did I think my parents would buy me the car for Christmas - but they did! It was a happy day, and I loved that car. Probably would still be driving it like a crazy person if I had it.
The Neon is no longer, apparently, according to this blog. It made me kind of sad - it's as if an era of my life ended and I didn't even know it.
"Looking Back: Dodge Neon." (Neff, J. Autoblog. 10/07/05)
Anyway, I'd really love to find the original magazine ad for the car that I cut out and taped all over my bedroom. You know, the one with the front view of the car and it said, "Hi." Never did I think my parents would buy me the car for Christmas - but they did! It was a happy day, and I loved that car. Probably would still be driving it like a crazy person if I had it.
The Neon is no longer, apparently, according to this blog. It made me kind of sad - it's as if an era of my life ended and I didn't even know it.
"Looking Back: Dodge Neon." (Neff, J. Autoblog. 10/07/05)
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