Andes, NY

Hipster paradise! Yet another New York Times article about the town where B and I got married. This time it's about vintage clothing store Clementine which also has an online store.

In some ways this couple is totally living my (maybe even our) dream of renovating a $150,000 farmhouse outside of Andes and raising two kids in "good, clean dirt." Only I guess my dream involves me being on faculty at nearby SUNY Delhi, not owning a clothing store.

Other great Andes places:
Tay Tea
The Andes Hotel

Dinner FAIL

I forgot to write about my utter dinner failure on Monday night. I wanted to make a fish and kale dish with curry. Rather than get tilapia, I splurged and bought cod, thinking it was a more high-quality fish. I don't know if it's how I cooked it or the fish itself, but it totally turned to mush in my frying pan. I oversalted the dish as well, and managed to undercook the brown rice as well as oversalt it. I picked out all the kale and fed the rest to the cat and the garbage disposal. My DH ate it, but definitely not one of my better dishes.

Not only did dinner (literally, at least the fish) fall apart in salty mush, but I attempted to make the Vanilla Pudding I made for my Coconut Layer Cake and also failed. I don't know what went wrong, but instead of using all half-and-half I attempted to use some of the 2% milk that we need to use up in the mix (so 1 cup half&half and one cup milk). Trying to do too many things at once - clean up, cook dinner, let out the dog, etc and the milk mixture first boiled over. Then I took it off to let it steep with some green tea, thinking I would make green tea pudding. When I put it back on with the cornstarch mixture and let it simmer, it never came together like pudding and was gross and lumpy. I don't know if it was the fact that the milk boiled over, or that I used 2% milk, or what.

Well, so that was Monday. I ended up eating the kale (which, despite all else, was really good) and a bowl of cereal. I woke up this morning super hungry.

Tonight I made chicken and dumplings, which turned out remarkably better, although this time I didn't salt it enough. Generally on weeknights I just don't take the time to taste, taste, taste because I'm trying to do too many other things while cooking. Focusing on cooking is relaxing, and I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world to have more dishes to clean up afterward.

Elation and Frustration

I never finished explaining How I Became Nicole X. Although I suppose I was trying to show rather than tell as I learned I should do in my college fiction writing class, I should probably just finish the story by saying that I became my married name when I was in the ICU at Sibley Hospital back in November. The nurses and lab techs would come in at 4am to begin everything, the chest X-rays, the blood work, and they called me Mrs. X, my married name. After that I haven't slipped up once in calling myself by my new name. My maiden name has slipped into the past with a lot of other things that I used to be.

I wrestle between frustration and elation these days. Elation because I feel so much better than I did back in November and December. There were so many inconclusive tests back then, and they were painful. I still have the marks on the right side of my upper thigh where they cut in to put catheters into my heart, the first time to see if there were electrical problems and the second time for the myocardial biopsy that left me writhing in pain. Back then when I had no answers, I was really convinced that my Christmas present might be getting on a heart transplant list. Now, even though I have no more answers than I did before, we know that's not the case. My heart is healing, slowly slowly, but healing.

On Sunday I went to the grocery store and coming back up the steps with a couple of bags into our new kitchen, my husband said, "It's so nice to hear you do that and not be out of breath." I agreed, "Yeah!" It was exciting, realizing that I feel better. But with the same hand it's still hard because I used to be someone different. I took things for granted, but I used to run three miles without thinking about it, run around my office building all day without breaking a sweat, or drink too many glasses of wine, the only consequence being a headache the next morning.

I try to be positive, look how far I've come and not try to think too much about the Nicole C. that I was before I got sick, the one who ran the day before her wedding in the rain or swam in the ocean on her honeymoon for hours, or who thought that everything was possible the moment she wanted it. Although I know I will get back to being active again, no one can promise me that I'll ever run a 5K again. I used to take that so much for granted, I could run a 5K in my sleep. Now I see people running along Rock Creek in DC or I read blogs where women talk about how their exercise class kicked their butt, I'm envious. I try to remind myself that the reason this has all happened is to make me more thankful, think about what I have, value it more, but it's tough.

I know I have an amazing life, one that might have not still been going on had we not gone to the hospital when we did. I know I'm supposed to learn from this, it's the proverbial blessing in disguise that makes you thankful that you're here at all. When things change suddenly for you, though, there are times when you maybe get a little sad. I wish I could say I'll never take anything for granted again, but I will and I welcome the time when I slip into the sweet ignorance of living without a care. Life is really sweet, and I guess sometimes being sad about what isn't is just part of that.

It's a tough month, February, no? Cold, dreary... in less than a week, though, it will be March, both of our birthdays, and a spring that I think I will enjoy like no other in my life!

Death of a Colleague

Some things make you stop and realize where you are and where you've been in life. Today I found out that my colleague from my teaching days in the French department passed away this week. I went back and looked at old emails between us and found another one between me and one of my old students as well. It's sad, it's almost as if I was a whole different person when I was teaching, so close to people I don't stay in touch with now. It's not that I don't care about them, it's just so hard to maintain relationships with people you were friends with for three years or less, and when you have a whole wonderful circle of friends to share your current life with.

Reading the old emails brought me back. I don't think my life is better or worse now that I'm not a teacher, just different. I "know" (as much as anyone can) that I'm on the right path, but still, sometimes you ache for your past self and the life you once lived. And for the people you once shared it with, because of course, you never know when goodbye might be for good.

So goodbye, Monique.

Coming Soon!

I have 10 minutes before I have a work event, so I'll quick preview some things that will be coming up.

1) I have a yummy recipe for roasted chicken thighs with mushrooms and asparagus that is in the camera, ready to load!
2) I have some tips on making homemade pasta.
3) I have a surprise remodel coming up. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I'm taking some before pictures and will soon (hopefully!) have some after pics as well.
4) I'm continuing to work on the literature review about deans and their leadership, but will be shifting gears soon to work on a brief history of foreign language education policy so I can present it at the Northeast Conference on the Teaching of Foreign Languages.

OK. That's it. Going to go set up for the event.

Oh, the '60s.

In an article on deans (written 1968), the author wrote that his wife came into his study WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION TO INTERRUPT HIM. The horror! Now, the author is an academic and as many of us know, it does require solid blocks of uninterrupted time. I think she was forgiven because she was coming in to tell him that the dean had died, which seemed to be followed by an celebratory bout drinking along faculty row. Miraculously during this celebration, food appeared and children were put to bed. It must have been a lot easier to get research done when your wife took care of everything else around the house.

Of course, this is part of my dissertation research, not some sort of fun reading. Believe me, it's not fun. I'm trying to trace how writers have thought about the office of dean over time, and this is my starting point since it's more or less when my dissertation narrator began his career as dean. But it's led me to think a little about my own situation.

Here I am, having been stuck inside my house for the past 10 days due to Snopocalypse '10, and suddenly I'm becoming a domestic, writing about food, cleaning house, baking, etc. I do really enjoy all those things, but I probably should have been working on my dissertation. And yet for women I don't think this idea of "I'm in the study, don't you dare interrupt me" would ever work. Regardless of where I am in the house (my "study" having become an oversized storage closet for books and papers), it doesn't seem right to just banish someone from talking to me for hours. No, rather I'll just adjust my own schedule, stay in my campus office or go to the library, so that it's clear that I'm working. Or, quite honestly, take a lot longer to finish my dissertation because there are multiple demands on my time.

I don't want the tables to turn, but sometimes I think that the expectations women place on themselves are too high. Keep a lovely home, cook for your family, look pretty and put-together every day, be a success at your career, finish your dissertation, raise a family, exercise 5 times a week (get all those muscle groups!), plan perfect parties and get-togethers, be an understanding confidante to your friends and husband, don't screw up. I underscore again that these are expectations we place on ourselves. It's tough, how do we expect less? People judge us on how we look and keep our houses; they also expect a lot out of us in the workplace. Something at some point has to give.

And with that, I am going home to make dinner.

MYO Vegetable Stock

I used to think stock was an all-day affair. You can get a lot of flavor in a short amount of time, however. I made some sweet potato fries earlier in the week and saved the skins and unsightly parts in the freezer, along with onion ends, mushroom ends, and garlic skins. I knew I wanted to make some Sweet Potato Risotto later in the week.

I roasted the vegetables for about 20 minutes in a 450 degree oven. This browns them and brings out their rich flavor.

From 2010-02-12

Then put in a pot with about 4 1/2 cups of water (the perfect amount for the risotto, once it boils down). I brought it to a boil, then simmered for about 30-40 minutes and strained out the vegetables.

From 2010-02-12

If you'd like to make risotto on a weeknight, make it on the weekend and stick in the fridge. It usually keeps for about 3 days, or for 3 months in the freezer.

Sweet Potato Risotto

My original plan was to make fish tacos, but when we went to the grocery the first day after the snopocalypse, there were no avocados or green cabbage and the fish looked less than fresh. So I improvised. I had a couple sweet potatoes, risotto, and a pack of 5 pepper and onion sausages that I didn't need all of for my baked pasta dish later in the week. The final dish had great flavor, sweet and umami and perfect for two feet of snow on the ground.

And I had randomly gotten some radicchio, which I thought would make a yummy side dish. For that, I chopped up the radicchio, marinated in olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper for about an hour, grilled in a grill pan, and then dressed with balsamic vinegar and Parmesan cheese.

From 2010-02-12

Sweet Potato Risotto

2 sausages, taken out of casing or about 1/3 lb of loose sausage (I used pepper and onion from Harris Teeter, made fresh in store)
2 medium sized sweet potatoes, cut into small 1/4 inch cubes
1 medium onion, diced
1 cup arborio rice
2 cloves of garlic, minced
3 1/2 - 4 cups chicken or vegetable stock (see my next post for a quick and easy homemade version!)
1/2 cup cream or half-and-half
1/2 cup dry white wine or vermouth
1/2 cup shredded romano or parmesan cheese
2-4 T olive oil

From 2010-02-12

1. Heat stock in a pot so that it's ready for the risotto. For quick and easy homemade stock, see my next post!

2. Heat a medium to large pot to medium high heat. Pour in a couple tablespoons of olive oil and heat until the oil starts to shimmer. Put in the sausage and brown, 3-5 minutes. Add in the vegetables and cook until the potatoes start to soften, 8--10 minutes. You will need to stir frequently and scrape the bottom of the pan to mix in the browning vegetables and sausage.

From 2010-02-12

3. Add the cup of arborio rice and toast for 1-2 minutes, mixing in with the vegetables and sausage.

From 2010-02-12

4. Begin adding in the stock a 1/2 cup at a time. Stir, and once there is no more visible liquid, add in the next 1/2 cup. You will need to stir almost the entire time (although unlike the way some people do it, we often walk away from the pot for a couple of minutes to say, change the station on Pandora. Continue until you've used all the stock and the rice is getting to the texture you like. This part will take about 20 minutes.

3. Add in the 1/2 cup of wine or vermouth and check the consistency. Finally, add in the 1/2 cup of cream or half and half and stir until absorbed into the rice.

4. Remove from heat and stir in the 1/2 cup of romano or parmesan. Scoop into a serving dish and garnish with parsley.

From 2010-02-12

Tip of the Day

A good marriage is when you build on each others ideas. I had set up Pandora on my netbook while I was making dinner. My dh then said, "Why don't we find the cord and hook this up to the Bose?" We searched in several places and found the cord, and voila, we had music that sounded great and was free, with the exception of a few commercials.

From 2010-02-12

A while back our computers both busted with our entire collection of iTunes on them, and both of our iPods made that sad iPod face, so we've been without music since 2 apartments ago. I think the last time we had music from an iPod was for our 2008 Christmas party. I'm less convinced of Apple's quality than most other people seem to be, since what it seems like is that you pay more for a product that lasts the same amount of time as PCs.

Ready for Valentine's Day!

This morning Mike McGrath from @wtop was giving tips for the best Valentine's flowers. He suggested red tulips, which in the language of flowers literally mean "I love you." See his explanation here. I braved the messy and congested (with snow and traffic) roads to find some! I tried Fragers, Ginkos, and finally found them at Harris Teeter.

Now I have a lovely Valentine's display! With, of course, a mostly eaten coconut layer cake.

From 2010-02-12

OK, now back to reading about the academic deanship. Zzzzzz...